How to Tie a Bow Tie
Learn how to tie a bow tie by hand with step-by-step instructions. Covers the classic self-tie knot that works for formal events and weddings.
We spent 45 minutes in a hotel bathroom trying to tie a bow tie before a wedding once. YouTube was open on the counter, we had retied it eleven times, and the result still looked like a deflated butterfly sitting on our throat.
Bow ties have a reputation for being impossible, and honestly, they are harder than a regular tie. The knot is essentially the same as tying your shoes, but doing it at your neck while looking in a mirror adds a spatial reasoning challenge that the shoe version does not have.
The result does not need to be perfect. A slightly asymmetrical, clearly hand-tied bow tie actually looks better than a suspiciously perfect one. Perfect symmetry is what pre-tied bow ties look like.
This guide walks through the knot step by step. It will take a few attempts to get something wearable, and the motion sticks once it clicks.
A self-tie bow tie (also called a freestyle bow tie). This is a long strip of fabric with bow-shaped ends. Do not use a pre-tied bow tie with a clip. The whole point is tying it yourself. A mirror is essential. A dress shirt with the collar up. You can practice on your thigh if the mirror angle is difficult at first. The motion is the same.
Start with the bow tie around your neck
Drape the bow tie around your neck under the collar with the seam side down. Pull one end about an inch and a half longer than the other. The longer end should be on your dominant hand side. Throughout these steps, the longer end is called the long end and the shorter one is the short end. Stand in front of a mirror. It helps to think of this as tying your shoe, just vertically instead of horizontally.
Cross the long end over the short end
Take the long end and cross it over the short end at the point where the collar meets the top button. Bring the long end under and through the neck loop, pulling it upward. Tighten gently. You now have a simple overhand knot, just like the first step of tying your shoe. The long end should be pointing straight up. Let it rest over your shoulder or hold it with a chin tuck to keep it out of the way for the next step.
Form the front loop with the short end
Take the short end (the one hanging down) and fold it horizontally at the widest part to create the bow shape. The folded portion should sit across the front of your neck, centered on the collar. Hold this bow shape in place with the thumb and forefinger of one hand, pinching it at the center where the knot will be. This folded shape becomes the front of the finished bow tie. Getting the position right here determines how the final tie looks.
Good to know: Pinch the center of the folded bow tightly with one hand and do not let go until the knot is complete. If the fold slips, the bow comes apart and you start over. Hold firm and use your other hand for the remaining steps.
Drop the long end over the center
Take the long end (the one you draped up and over your shoulder) and bring it straight down over the front of the bow shape you are holding. It should drape over the center of the bow, covering the pinch point. This creates the center band of the bow tie knot.
Form the back loop and push it through
Now fold the long end back on itself to form a second bow loop, just like you did with the short end. Take this folded loop and push it through the small gap behind the front bow loop and behind the center band you just created. You are essentially pushing the back bow through the knot, exactly like completing a shoe tie. This is the trickiest part. Use your finger to find the gap behind the front loop and above the neck band. Wiggle the folded long end through that space. It will feel clumsy the first few times.
Adjust and straighten
Once both loops are through, gently pull on opposite loops and opposite tails alternately to tighten and center the knot. Pull the front loop to the right and the back loop to the left (or vice versa) to tighten the center knot. Pull the flat tails to adjust the loop sizes. The bow should sit centered on your collar with both loops roughly the same size. Slight asymmetry is normal and desirable. Flip your collar down. Step back from the mirror and check the overall look. The bow should extend slightly past the edges of the collar points.
Your first wearable bow tie will take a few attempts. That is normal. It gets faster every time until you stop thinking about it. The imperfection is part of the look. A hand-tied bow tie is supposed to have slight asymmetry. The two loops will not be identical. The center knot will be a little off-center. That is what makes it look hand-tied rather than clipped on, and that distinction is the entire point. Own one black self-tie bow tie and you are covered for every formal event for the rest of your life. They never go out of style and they always look intentional.
Questions we get asked about this
Answers from experience, not a textbook.
Usually the center knot is not tight enough. After pushing the back loop through, pull on both loops firmly to cinch the knot. The other common cause is losing the fold of the front bow before pushing the back loop through. Keep a firm pinch on the center fold throughout the process. Practice will make each step more secure.
A self-tie (freestyle) bow tie is a long strip of fabric you tie yourself. A pre-tied bow tie is a permanently shaped bow attached to an adjustable neck band with a hook or clip. Pre-tied bow ties are convenient but look obviously fake at close range. The perfect symmetry and uniform shape give them away. Self-tied bow ties have natural asymmetry and texture that look intentional and elegant.
Standard butterfly bow ties are about 2.5 to 3 inches wide when tied, which works for most people and most collar styles. The butterfly style is the most classic and versatile. The batwing style is slimmer (about 1.5 to 2 inches) and looks more modern and less formal. For your first bow tie, get a standard butterfly in black. It works for weddings, galas, and any black-tie event.
Yes. Wrap it around your thigh just above the knee and tie it there. The motion is the same, but you can see what your hands are doing without a mirror. Once you can tie it on your thigh consistently, move to the mirror. Learning the knot on your thigh first removes the mirror problem, which is the part that makes the neck version hard.
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How to Tie a Tie
How to Tie a Bow Tie
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